Domeniu dăruit de pațani.
December 17th, 2009

Text-huiext și dizain-pizdain.

Gata cu atâta hi-hi-hi și ha-ha-ha. Numai djinși și franțferdinand îi în capul vostru. Ajunge.

Toată lumea face mutră serioasă — azi apare VIP magazinul de decembrie.

„Fuuu, eu nu citesc, acolo-i glamur” — exclamă publicul cu blugi rupți în cur, visând, în taină, să poată trece, cândva, face-controlul măcar la un club, care-i „fuuu”. Ei ar linge și chiloții bucătăresei de la „Dance planet”, doar să vadă, măcar pe o secundă, ce fac oamenii din reviste strălucitoare (niciun căcat nu fac, în mare parte — n. r.). De asta ei nu sunt aici, pentru că citesc alte bloguri, care-s serioase, implicate și agramate.

Voi însă sunteți miau-miau, de asta vă scutesc să ieșiți chiar acum, la −10ºC, din oficiile și orificiile voastre calde, mirosind a papuci umezi și cafea, ca să căutați revista în chioșcuri. Iată chiar aici a 164-a parte a proaspătului VIP magazin. Ta-daaam!

(clickuim imaginea, da)

Găsim acolo tot ce-i trebuie unui cetățean modern: text-huiext, dizain-pizdain. Mai pe scurt, vorba poetului, tot ce nu găsești în geanta unei domnișoare.

Pupici.

December 16th, 2009

Premiera de ieri.

Ieri am fost la premiera filmului „Lupii și zeii”. Pentru cine nu are bani de bilet la „Patria”, iată, pe scurt, subiectul filmului.

Niște geto-daci și un scit merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-se 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opresc oleacă-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-se bat-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-merg-se 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SFÂRȘIT.

December 15th, 2009

«ЧА»-«ЩА» — пиши «А», бля.

Писать буду коротко, т.к. уже заебался искать эти ваши буквы на клавиатуре.

Я вот почему ухожу из этой сраной молдавской блогосферы, куда-то в никуда, потому что русским язык на котором я сейчас (cea-șea, piși a, blea) пишу, никак не назовешь — меня ему учил Первый Общесоюзный и Мариванна из школьной столовой.

Не хочу быть частью этой огромной мэмэлиги, где все только и умеют комментировать новости про Ткачука (ciu-șiu, piși u, blea) и Ромынию Маре. Никому нахуй не сдались эти ваши точки зрения трехкопеечные. Точки пердения, блядь. Или эти ваши ебанные ссылки с ютюба. Боян-распространители, блядь.

Я тут блядь стараюсь нахуй, фишки им, блядь, придумываю, а они, блядь, Стелу Попа, блядь, читают нахуй.

Кастрировать, вас, ксенофобов, блядь, надо, и будет мне счастье. И соседу моему тоже — он вечно с дрелью, ему все похую. И останутся на земле я, сосед с девятого и девки. Им до пизды до вашей этой Униря или там этой вашей Великая Русь.

А пизда — это вам не хуй.

Scurt rezumat în limba română:

Autorul își exprimă dezamăgirea legată de starea de spleen în care s-a aciuat blogosfera moldovenească, exprimându-și, în același timp, speranța că pacea și buna înțelegere între oameni vor deveni un statu quo pe planeta Pământ.

December 14th, 2009

Ион сказал «поехали»!

Раз-два-раз. Раз-два-раз. Кто не здесь, тот пидарас.

Микрофонул мерже.

December 14th, 2009

No new posts for today.

Nu-i nică nou aici.

Marș la citit bloguri despre chirtoacă, menstruație, șapte-aprilie, linkuri-din-internet, noi-sîntem-români-și-punctum, cât-de-tare-urăsc-zilele-de-luni, o-nouă-strategie-de-dezvoltare-a, ce-mi-s-a-întâmplat-ieri-în-microbuz, lansare-pizdoasă-de-carte și lansare-de-carte-pizdoasă, de-ce-nu-există-blogging-bun-în-moldova, un-altfel-de-blog-ca-și-celelalte, ia-vedeți-ce-pot-în-fotoșop.

Când ai în blogosferă (beee, mi-a borî) peste o mie de „altfel de bloguri”, toate totuna, diagnoza îi clară.

Acest blog va fi, de azi înainte, în limba rusă.

December 13th, 2009

Miau.

Alaltăieri trebuia să decid ce fac cu ultimii bani — chem veterinarul, sau plătesc Internetul.

Acum mă duc să îngrop mâța și scriu despre asta pe blog.

Niciodată n-a fost așa de cuminte ca acum, în cutiuța din coridor. Pe micul ei sicriu scrie „Reebok”.

(Aici urma să fie un fragment despre cât de porci pot fi oamenii uneori, dar îl vom evita).

Eu știu că îți este bine, Negrușa, acolo — caloriferi, motani potenți, ghemuri.

Una mă îngrijorează — EI N-AU ATÂTA PEȘTE.

P. S. Erik Satie a avut și el o mâță, precis:

Miau.

December 9th, 2009

[awr-inj]

Dacă tot se țin de noua ortografie românească, alde Orange Moldova ar face bine să scoată cratima de după „weekend”:

De obicei, în corporațiile moldovenești, șef de PR îi vreun franțuz, designerul este rus, iar managerul — moldovean (îl doare fix în pulă, așadar).

V kanță-kanțov, Republica Moldova este un stat polietnic.

Cititorii celorlalte bloguri or să moară proști.

Voi însă veți ști, scumpii mei, că nu se pune cratimă după „weekend”, pentru că ultima literă, „d”, românii o pronunță. Românii nu pronunță „e”-ul din cuvântul „site”, de asta scriu „site-uri”.

Gramatica, blea, asta nu-i piele de pulă de cal sportiv.

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